Another month has passed and exactly 0 blog posts have been written. Some good Facebook activity of course! So here are the “coulda’ been’s” (no idea what I’m talking about? Explanation HERE.)
Earlier at the pediatrician, Eleanor suggested that doctors look in your ears so they could see your brain. I explained that they wanted to see your eardrums and the other parts that helped you hear. George enthusiastically agreed, “yeah – that’s why they’re called HEARdrums, because they help you HEAR!” then he asked me when they would take us to the teleportation room. What?!
For everyone who asked about what I got at Zoe Boutique yesterday… Alice & Trixie top (on sale!) and Red Engine boot cut jeans. Necklace and earrings from my own “collection” (i.e. junk).
Diane Cooper Gould just explained the difference between pole dancer outfits and stripper outfits to me.
Eleanor on her fear of fireworks: “I wish there was a different way to celebrate the earth!”
She thinks the Fourth of July is Earth Day. Another nail in the coffin of my homeschooling potential…
Inconvenient? Yes. Frustrating? Totally. Yet. There is something very freeing about the camera battery dying.
First French braid! Obviously by a mother who doesn’t “do hair…”
Did you know that in “Swimbabwe” Africa, there are giant spiders? This is true. George told me.
Me: No running! You can run in the gym, but not in the hallway.
Eleanor: Can we skip?
I love kids.
Poor Oliver starts summer school today. We’re calling it “camp school.” He’s not buying what we’re selling…
If your daughter gets a bloody nose in the car, and you don’t have any tissues, napkins or any other forms of paper products, what do you hand her as an emergency substitute? A tampon. Obviously.
Reading the first book of Game of Thrones and it makes me feel like I’m a teenager who has hours to lie on my stomach on my bed, ankles crossed, until I feel like rolling onto my back and reaching for a chocolate chip cookie. To think that I used to consider that time, “being bored.” I miss 14.
My kids just got their first official chain letter in the mail. I know – the mail?! Who the hell communicates via U.S. Postal Service anymore (other than lawyers and grandma of course)? Well if the chain letter involves mailing stickers to friends, then snail mail it is! And if I was thinking of possibly stashing the letter in in the trash before the kids had a chance to see it…here is the last line: “Please take the time for this quick project. It is worth it to see the smile on your child’s face when they open their mail.” Thanks for the emotional black[chain]mail [letter] Lita! Enjoy neighbors!
Also – I had to explain chain mail that doesn’t happen via e-mail to my 21 year old babysitter. Feeling old…
Just caught a vicious mosquito in my bare hand. Torn between revulsion and triumph.
Nothing like listening to your six year old daughter singing Daft Punk in the back seat: “We’re up all night to get lucky…”
Oliver: I’m going upstairs to play with my string.
Did I mention my son is a kitty cat?
“Just keep on doing it! Then you’ll did it!”
Wise words from George.
It just occurred to me that Danny, Uncle Jessie and Uncle Joey in season one of Full House are probably a full decade younger than I am now.
Went to the Simply Om launch party last night and have now picked out birthday presents for the next 10 years. Wonder if Kiran does registries…
Woods walk with a friend. And jazz hands…
Just hurt my back vacuuming. Officially old.
On the walk to camp this morning…
George: This used to be England right?
Me: No – England “claimed” this land but this was never actually England.
George: OH right – so the English guys had a war and then they won and then they had freedom.
Me: Hmmm. That’s mixing a few things up… But you know who was here first?
Me: The Indians. Remember? England “discovered” this land and claimed it, but there were already people living here and THEY thought it was THEIR land. And in all honesty, they were right.
Eleanor: But that was a long time ago – so it’s not our fault. We can’t do anything about it now.
Me: Nope. We just have to live with the aftermath.
George: And the CURSE.
Where does he get this stuff?! Though he’s probably right…
Just heard a Cranberries song on the radio and thought, “wow it’s been almost 10 years since that came out.” THEN I thought, “no – wait…it’s been almost TWENTY years since that came out.”
And I don’t want to even talk about the Tracy Chapman song that’s on now…
As I sat on the front steps “furminating” Alice:
George: Look at all of the mosquitoes!
Me: You’re right – can you run inside and get the bug spray for me? It’s in the pool bag.
George: Okay – I’ll get it right now!
[five minutes later…]
George: Mom! I can’t find the bug spray! It’s not in the pool bag!
Me: [resigned to a night of itching] That’s okay – I’ll live.
George: Yeah! You’ll live! Because you’ve got millions of blood!
Epilogue: I lived. But just barely.
George: Mom! In Minecraft – when zombies eat the villager babies…
Me: WAIT! You play a game where zombies eat villager babies?
George: Yeah. In Minecraft. And when the zombies eat the villager babies…
Well – no one ever called me a Helicopter Mom.
DON’T eat things off the floor! It’s like a grocery store RULE.
I can’t believe I actually have to say these things.
The last two times we’ve grilled, Oliver has “helped” Chris by lighting the match. And now he LOVES lighting matches.
So I’ll basically never sleep again.
George: There are a lot of dead bugs in the world.
Eleanor: Especially at the pool.
The kids are watching Full House.
Chris: I wonder how much they drank on that set… Especially THAT one (Uncle Joey).
Again – the kids are watching Full House. Some young intern at Danny’s TV station guessed that he “must be 27 or 28.”
Eleanor looks at me and says, “he’s younger than you.”
So I clarified, “he’s not really 28. He’s in his thirties.”
Eleanor: But you’re in your forties. So you’re still older.
Me: Yes – thank you for pointing that out.
Eleanor: But…the thirties are NEXT TO the forties…so I guess it’s not that bad.
Me: We can stop talking about this now.