I have a few half written posts that I swear I will finish one of these days (except for the Christmas one – that shelf life has long since expired…) But I don’t seem to have time for more than the odd Facebook update here and there. So I guess I’ll just continue with my “this could have been a blog post” series on Facebook updates that…well, could have been blog posts. For an explanation of this foolishness, click HERE. Otherwise, heeeeeeere’s FEBRUARY!
Our poor black dog, Alice looks like she has dandruff on her head. Oliver decided to give her a toothpaste shampoo. Obviously.
Arrived in a box amidst a jumble of memorabilia from Chris’ parents’ house (they are moving: i.e. unloading boxes of crap on their kids). I’m calling it The Ring of Power.
Some people may call eating dinner at 9:30 not being able to get your act together…I like to call it “being European.”
I don’t think I will ever in my life spell ocassion correctly the FIRST time. I mean occassion. Occasion?
If George takes 2 hours to eat four chicken nuggets AGAIN, I may lose my mind… I mean, seriously. How many issues with breading can one person have?!
If I end up dying young, it will undoubtedly be the result of our dog, Alice tripping me on the stairs. She LIVES directly under my feet!
“No! Toothpaste is not soap. It is for teeth. Not washing hands…or dogs.”
I actually say these things.
Major quandary about Downton Abbey and The Walking Dead being on at the same time… What does this say about me?
Though in my defense, my husband does figure in. I would prefer watch Downton and catch TWD later… Marriage is all about compromise!
“NOT UNTIL YOU STAY IN YOUR OWN SQUARE AND STOP TOUCHING OTHER PEOPLE!”
Only people with kids will think this statement sounds remotely normal.
I always know that my dog Alice’s water bowl is empty when I hear her drinking out of the toilet. One would think that this would make me more vigilant about checking her supply. One would be wrong.
Related: my children are inconsistent flushers.
We’re all about the class.
“We never throw our underwear at someone’s face!”
So many teachable moments…
One of my children to another one of my children: “Stop playing with my nails!”
Me: “The fact that he had to ask that is weird enough. Please stop doing it.”
Sometimes I open my e-mail and think, “why did I subscribe to Goop.com?” I mean – when do I ever actually open those e-mails? So instead of unsubscribing, I just delete the message and reenact this scene again the following day…
Me (to our dog): Alice – why do you always want to play with ME? You know I’m not fun!
Eleanor: Well…sometimes you are.
He returned from his business trip over 3 weeks ago…But on the upside, someone is finally using that hideous dog bed.
No idea what this is all about – but I’m IN.
Trying to get something rather time sensitive done on the computer and the kids won’t leave me alone. Hello! I’ve given you all snacks, drinks, suggestions for entertainment, TELEVISION… Giving serious thought to tossing a bag of unopened candy downstairs and telling them that they’re not allowed to eat it. That should keep them busy (and quiet) for a good hour…
Me: Hey – now that Eleanor’s cast is off, you can all start taking the bus again.
George: Yay! I love the bus. You can find candy under the seats.
Me: Why are you telling me this?
George: It’s like a scavenger hunt!
Holding this in mine today…
They put one on EVERY DOOR in the house. And on a couple of chairs. And a lamp.
Eleanor: Isn’t it weird how babies are always born on their birthday?
That’s it! Check back in a few weeks for March updates (spoiler: I throw a party because The Mindy Project is renewed by Fox for another season).