Suburban Mom Stream of Consciousness

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You know when you buy a sweater because it’s on sale, and it looks so cute on the hanger, and it’s SO cheap, but you don’t have the time or energy to try it on first? And then you get home and find out that the sweater was designed for supermodels and not suburban moms who don’t get to the gym enough, and it makes you look two sizes larger than you already are? Then it sits in your closet for years because you have this hope that one day you will turn into a supermodel and the sweater will look as stunning on you as it was meant to be? And then there is this afternoon when you are really cold and the sweater looks really warm, and even though you have to volunteer at school, you wear it anyway because elementary school kids don’t care about how bad you look in your sweater? And after volunteering you remember that you have to go to the store and people out in the world WITH EYES will see you in the unflattering sweater? But you don’t really care, because when you walk into Safeway you encounter one of the cashiers draped in a white sheet wearing nothing but black socks on his feet (and WHAT was THAT all about by the way?) And you think that in the context of Safeway that afternoon, your ill-fitting sweater really isn’t all that bad… And THEN you realize that the strange ringing in your ears is actually your 23-year-old self screaming herself hoarse, and now that she has your attention she’s begging, “why? Why would you do that? Why would you wear that hideous sweater out in public? Why? WHY? What has become of us?” And you know that you’re going to have to make it up to her by wearing lip gloss and earrings tomorrow. Then you buy a pint of ice cream and eat the whole thing with Cake Decor sprinkles because for some reason, it seemed like a good idea at the time…kind of like buying the sweater did.

So THAT happened today… How are you?

Sorry for the radio silence. The holidays were rough. I have a half written post about that, as well as two others that I meant to do something with in December. So hopefully I can finish those by the end of this month.

In the meantime, Listen to Your Mother – DC audition dates have been set. Visit the show page for full details. Hope to see you there!

3 Responses to Suburban Mom Stream of Consciousness
  1. Dina McQueen
    January 8, 2013 | 8:07 pm

    I LOVE this post, and I love my friend, Kate. Good writing always feels like comfortable vintage. Thanks for the stylish warm fuzzy, Kate. Now, go pour yourself a glass of Shiraz!

  2. Rebecca
    January 9, 2013 | 9:47 am

    Love it! I have actually done that…and then when I get to school I realized that are other MOMS that are going to see me in that weird fitting/looking outfit that seemed OK in my bedroom but now seems totally off. And I just want to tell them “this is not me, I usually don’t look like this…” but that would be weird so I don’t say anything and let them think what they want and try to diffuse my discomfort but being as funny as possible!! :)

  3. Lady Jennie
    January 11, 2013 | 9:54 am

    Now see, I would have just assumed you could pull off any sweater you tried on!

    Loved this one – totally relatable.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..La PoussetteMy Profile

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